i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
