Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
