You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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