I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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