i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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