very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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