I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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