I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
