you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
