I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
