How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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