how do flat chested girls get laid?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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