Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
