so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I forget how to act sober
Randomize