she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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