I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
