Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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