look no pants
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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