found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
