Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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