Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just invented taco cereal.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
