I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
