i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
