I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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