I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
