Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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