Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
