I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
