Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
