have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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