I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
