I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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