Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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