dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
