he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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