I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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