Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i think im in europe. pls send help
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
