Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
