he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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