Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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