hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Green mimosas i think yes
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
