Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
