i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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