had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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