How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
