I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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