Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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