She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
