I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
