he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
