oh god the rape fog is back!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
