When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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